Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the day after is always just damage control
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
