God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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