I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I deserve this hangover.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
