Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
