In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
