I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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