You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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