Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize