apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
What a dumb baby whore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
