Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you win again, gameday.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
