Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
