Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
