this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
