Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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