Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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