His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
