I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
