roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
