Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
