I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is Oprah even human
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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