We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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