I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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