im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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