Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
