Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
