ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
