i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
