Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
