I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
