He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
