So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
