i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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