I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
