She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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