does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
That was before I lit my hair on fire
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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