p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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