I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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