He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he thought i was a dude.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
