A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
