everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you made out with another girl for some wings
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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