he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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