I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Actions speak louder than pants.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
