It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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