Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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