Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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