Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
