i don't like sucking hair
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize