Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
