hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
this will be a night to untag.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
