so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
