I have demons in me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
