So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize