My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
