are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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