I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
