i don't like sucking hair
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
