Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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