I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
