i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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