He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize