I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
