I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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